A few weeks ago, I saw a TV commercial ad for eHarmony saying I could get a free personality profile. With my human bio major, I dig those kinda things. So I went to the site and answered the countless questions. The profiles on my and my preferred mate seemed pretty good. I didn’t intend to really use eHarmony as a dating service, though.
But then a friend talked about a guy she was digging after getting matched on another dating service. This is the same friend who convinced me to get a cat, so I trust her judgment.
Some of the things that eHarmony helps with are things that take time to know in the offline world of dating. Such as:
- Is he single or available?
- Is he religious?
- What does he do?
- Is he even interested in me?
Unlike other dating sites, where people seek out profiles, eHarmony makes the matches based on their “rigorous 29 Dimensions scale”. Only people who have been “matched” can communicate with each other. That means no messages from totally random guys. 8) The matches eHarmony has sent me have been the types I would prefer: taller than me, educated, not religious. To address the fourth question above, I only communicate with guys who initiate communication. That is, I don’t make the first move. I have a theory that relationships are more likely to work when the male is the one that wants it to work, no matter how much the woman wants it (or not).
After a guy shows interest in communication, I read his profile and check out photos if available. If I am interested, I go to the next step, which is to answer a few multiple choice questions that allow write-in answers. I then send my questions to the guy. If things are still going well past this part, we exchange our lists of Must Haves & Can’t Stands… in a partner. If that part is okay, the next is to answer 3 open-ended questions. So that is about as far as I have gotten. I have answered open-ended questions for a few guys. It’s my turn to send them my questions. I don’t know what to ask yet. There are suggested questions we can ask. I’ll have to wait til the mood hits me.
Of course, online dating lacks the things that help in the offline world, such as knowing if there’s chemistry. It’s hard to know from a profile if there could be a connection. To keep things manageable, I’ve decided to require photos from the get-go. It seems someone who doesn’t show their photo until later steps is hiding something and it’s a waste of everybody’s time. I don’t want or need a totally hot guy… if anything, those guys are hard to trust. But I do need to be attracted to someone I’m dating, or at least not be unattracted :P.